Well, I did it, kids. I no longer have a MySpace account. I never check it, and I haven't updated it in almost two years. I think it's time. I made sure I didn't lose any blog posts that I wanted to keep (I actually chose to just lose them all; none of them were very important, nor did I necessarily like what I had written in them) and honestly, I don't feel anything. I know, it's just a social networking p.o.s. blah blah blah. But anyway, I thought it would be a tougher thing to do. Nope!

Brothers at Sea

And Now For Some Relevant Information...

Today I am officially a contributor. Woohoo!!

Saw this on FML, HILARIOUS!

Today, I was having sex with a guy, and as he came, he shouted “MORTAL KOMBAT!” His roommate shouted back, “FINISH HER!” FML

Conversation I had with Trammy -- in my head.

Trammy: Dude, that's so gay.

Brian: (Mocking Hilary Duff's PSA) You shouldn't say that. Do you even know what you're saying when you say that? (Both burst with laughter)

Trammy: Best PSA ever!

Brian: Dude, totally! Still, you know what I would've done if she said that to me?

Trammy: (Rolls eyes) Oh boy.

Brian: What? I was just going to say that--

Trammy: (Interrupting Brian) Don't! Even finish that statement.

Brian: (Shocked) Aw! Come on man!

Trammy: Dude, I really don't want to hear how you're going to defile a wholesome girl like Hilary Duff.

Brian: Wholesome?! I thought she got veneers because she kept chipping teeth while being gang banged in her whorish, Disney soaked mouth. I mean come one, what do think she meant when she sang, (sings in high pitched, girlie voice) "Let the rain fall down"?

Trammy: And there it is. Even when I try to stop you, I can't.

Brian: Nope! Oh wait, didn't she date that gay dude in Good Charlotte?

Trammy: Umm. I thought Benji was the gay one.

Brian: Really? I thought all of Good Charlotte was gay for each other; what with all their guy-liner, frosted tips, and their song that proved they were gay: (sings with a nasally whine) "Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money." And then he proceeded to sing the word "guys" 5 or 6 times in succession.

Trammy: Anyway --

Brian: What if it were Miley Cyrus?

Trammy: Isn't she like, 15?

Brian: 17! Legal in Illinois, and she has all of those hot pics of herself in her bra and panties.

Trammy: Dude, gross!

Brian: What? 15's the new 19!

Trammy: Seriously?

Brian: Umm, only always! And you know what that means? Dakota Fanning--

Trammy (Interrupting Brian) Ok, too far!

Brian: Dammit. Sorry.

Trammy: No you're not!

Brian: Hey, you know more than anyone that I just say these things because they're funny, and because everyone is thinking them, but nobody has the balls to say them.

Trammy: No, everyone else doesn't care enough to say those things.

Happy new year, everyone!